Friday, June 28, 2013

week 22 winners

Here are this week's winners ... I really need to come up with questions for second-time judges.








First place: @sandyquill

From their observation point, Anna inquires, “Why did he put that sign on it?”

Her blond companion shrugs, amused. “He’s been trying to sell our home for a long time.” A wry glance. “We haven’t exactly been subtle.”

An airy snort. “Well, no. It’s our home and he knows it.”

A car pulls up and the observers lean precariously over the edge of their roof. They see their quasi-nemesis step quickly from the black sedan. “My partner is eager for you to see this property,” he states with a nearly invisible flickering of his eyes toward the roof across the street.

“Jennifer! It’s as if he can see us!”

“Well, maybe he can.”

A young couple joins the agent in front of the brick steps that lead to a deep porch. The woman points and says, “Not haunted? The sign says it’s not haunted?”

With a tentative smile, the agent nods. “Let’s test that, shall we?”

“Well?” Jennifer asks a silent question.

“I have a feeling about them,” Anna says slowly. “It may be time.”

“Time. . .”

In less than a moment, the females have disappeared. Across the street, a man sighs in relief. With a strange hint of melancholy.

I want to know more about these two ladies, even though they're apparently gone. Such personality in such a short piece. I kept coming back to this one and giggling as I imagined all the ways they've been tormenting this poor real estate agent. Excellent combination of the prompts, too!



Second place: Sherbert20111

“Look! The Japanese maple’s out.”

“Mom, can you concentrate on the house for a minute? We are not going to live in the garden.”

“Sure Honey, sure.”

I follow her up the steps shaking my head. The door is yanked open by a guy who rudely brushes past us, his feet make a syncopated beat on the brick steps. I spin like a top, reaching for the iron railings to steady myself and drowning in spicy aftershave.

“We’ll see ourselves round,” I call, because seriously, who does that to prospective viewers?

He makes no sign that he heard me at all. I sniff for the heady scent once more and hum. Definite potential.

-

“It could do with a woman’s touch,” Renee tuts at the dustcovers over the furniture, moving to stand by the window. She looks transparent in the sunlight streaming through. “This will do very well,” she says with a gentle sigh. “He won’t sell it once you make yourself known.”

“Mom!”

“What? I was a young succubus once too!”

“And where do you think you’re going?” Sunbeams arrange themselves like feathers either side of her.

“I’ll be around,” she says, winks once and fades out of sight.

Hi, please continue this! I was really torn between this flashfic and the one I chose for first place, which I think means I probably have a thing for stories in which supernatural women cause trouble. I so want to know what happens next.



Honourable Mention: @ChocoMG2112

I stood at the window and gazed down at the sign in the yard.

“Not Haunted,” I whispered. “How can people have lived in this house and then had the unmitigated gall to proclaim that it is not haunted?”

The voice of my beloved echoed in my head.

“Dear, you realize it is only a falsehood to draw the curious.”

I chuckled deeply. “Yes, I know.” I pressed my face to the window and gave it a gruesome, desiccated appearance. The dog in the yard across the street saw me and began howling in terror.

“Stop tormenting that poor dog.”

I felt the slight caress of wind across my cheek as by beloved’s essence surrounded me. “This last couple simply was not right.” An imagined kiss touched my lips. “Patience, my dear. We will find them.” It was the remembrance of her living touch that kept me going.

“Yes, my sweet. Patience.”

Instantly, the atmosphere of the house calmed then exploded with crackling electricity. I whirled and stared at the portrait of my beautiful wife. “We are saved.”

Downstairs, the couple walked into the house and greeted the realtor.

“Hi, I’m Edward Cullen and this is my wife Isabella.”

The thing with the dog still has me giggling. Another one that makes me want to know what happens next!



Honourable Mention: @AnnaLund2011

So I hang a little closer. Feel a little giddy. You don’t seem to mind. You kinda lean, too. What does it mean? Is this okay?

I don’t know how to read you; it feels like you know. But I don’t want to jinx it, what if you get mad?

I make a weird sound, like deep anguish. You turn your beautiful smile toward me, saying Look at us! We’re on top of the World, girl! On Top of the World!

You have never been this close, physically or emotionally, and it feels like my time is running out. You are beautiful with your hair blowing all around your happy face.

So I take a deep breath, smile—and kiss you. Then I kiss you again. And again.

You stand there, stunned, as my arms come down around you, and suddenly all the air seems to leave your body as you sag into me.

I hear your mumbled words against my throat, as you burrow deep into my jacket and straight into my heart:

Thank you. And please. And yes. And, oh, thank god, I thought I was going crazy.

New York. You did this. You helped me.

Thank you.

This one had me feeling the emotions right along with the narrator. Lovely. :)


...

Congratulations @sandyquill.

Thank you to @BedeliaJane for judging, and to everyone who participated.

See you next week!


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